It would seem I’m a sucker for Angry Birds. There is just one miniscule, tiny, wee detail that is separating me and hours of fun catapulting the cool little birdies, killing the green, squishy piglets. My god-awful internet connection…
I blame Twitter. All those people, tweeting away about their addictiveness to the game. What level they reached, irritating eachother by being far ahead of the other one. How they slashed all the piggies and have cleared level 23561. So, when friends, armed with Iphones, pop up near me, it is my duty to hijack said device for my dose of catapulting birds. Slighly annoying for the friends, great fun for me, especially when I clear out levels they found impossible to pass. Then, an Epiphany! Do we or do we not have that Itouch laying around the house!? We do! Happy as a bunny, it struck me: I (!) could be playing Angry Birds myself, for ever and ever and ever! Without annoying friends for draining their oh-so precious battery lives! I could even tweet about it!
“Good thinking Toto”, I said to myself and hurried off to the Itunes store… There it was, in all its shiny glory, ready for me to download and play. This was going to be a great night. But alas. Computer said “NO”. Let me share my ordeal with you. First of all, here’s the most important thing to keep in mind: we live in the countryside, about 40 minutes or so away from Dublin. We cannot have broadband. It’s not on the grid. So, we have one of those lovely jubbly 3G yolkies – which provides us with a fantastic (read the sarcasm) 1 bar connection on … (gasp in horror!) EDGE. Fourty minutes away from a major European capital and this is the best we can get. I cry a little, a lot, over this fact.
Anyhoooo – back to my ordeal. Itunes wouldn’t let me pay for the App in the Irish store as I was using my Belgian credit card, so it took me about an hour or so to change my details back to my home address in Belgium. Yes, an hour. But it worked (yay!) and payment was accepted! “Buy now?”, Itunes asked, and I said “Oh hooray!”. And the download started… expecting it to be done in about… FOUR hours. OK. No worries. That’s grand. I’ll just have my mental breakdown now and I’ll be all ready to play in four hours. But no, no: once more the internet decided to hate me.
Turned out I couldn’t drag the App onto the Itouch. Which sincerely annoyed and puzzled me. But, rest assured: there the message popped up: “This device needs to be upgraded to the most current software, would you like to do so now?“. Aha. That explains. Yes, why yes I would like this very much. And then the reason why I now cry when people talk about Angry Birds showed itself:
Download expected to be finished in 155 hours.
Needless to say – I am still not playing Angry Birds, which upsets me deeply. I shall and must have it! Soon I will go and hijack someone’s broadband connection and it will be miiiiiine, all mine!
While I wait for that – maybe I can buy myself an Angry Bird plush toy and beat it repeatedly, or maybe throw it against the wall as hard as I can, or buy a massive catapult to shoot it around the house, in order to vent my frustrations.(*)
(*) This would actually make a perfect Christmas prezzie for all your addicted friends and no actual Angry Birds were harmed during the making of this post.